Am I The Jerk?
Posted on Mon Apr 27th, 2026 @ 6:39pm by Ensign Connor Turner & Lieutenant Junior Grade Zhara Rynn
Edited on on Wed Apr 29th, 2026 @ 8:24am
1,823 words; about a 9 minute read
Mission:
Episode 17 - Going Home
Location: Counseling Office - Deck 5 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD026 1300 hrs
Breaking up with Marjani had not been on Connor's radar. Sure, he could go visit his parents, but a few things were bothering him right now. He had gotten stern with Marjani and he had to know if he handled things poorly and if he was the jerk.
So, he tapped his combadge and asked, =^= Counselor Rynn, are you available? =^=
"I am. I'm in my office," Zhara replied.
Sophia perked up her ears and wagged her tail.
"Yes," the counselor said. "We have someone coming to talk to us."
=^= Right. I'll be there in a tic. =^=
True to his word, Connor arrived at Counselor Rynn's office a moment later. After ringing the chime and being welcomed in, Connor greeted Sophia. "How are you, girl? Do I smell like a good person?" he inquired.
Sophia wagged her tail and pressed against Connor's side.
Zhara's office was a harmony of colors, textures, and sounds.
A conversation area consisting of two overstuffed chairs and a matching couch in a soft, rich blue fabric was to the right as you entered Zhara's office. Two accent pillows sat on either end of the couch. Between them was a coffee table with a three-tiered candy tray filled with chocolates, candies, dried fruit, and mints.
Kitty corner from the conversation area sat a warm mahogany desk and matching chair. Beside it sat Sophia's bed. Soft strains of violins played in the background and there was a hint of vanilla in the air.
In between the desk and the conversation area stood a rock sculpture. Water cascaded over the rocks, filling a small pool. Two pots of fern stood on either side.
Four paintings hung on the cream-colored walls. One was of the Andes, one of Mount Seleya, one of desert cacti, and one of a Carpathian woods. They were all places she found both relaxing and stimulating.
Zhara found Connor's words telling, but she would wait to hear what he had to say before asking him about the comment. She indicated the conversation area, "Please, have a seat."
Connor pet Sophia warmly and said, "Well, at least you still like me." He then looked around at the conversation area and the desk with the chair. He looked back at the conversation area and considered it. None of it appeared proper enough for him, but eventually he chose the blue couch and sat in the middle of it.
He then told Zhara bluntly, "I have to know if I reacted poorly."
Zhara sat in one of the overstuffed chairs and observed Connor for a moment. "Okay. Let's go back to the beginning and give me a brief summary of what's been going on, then we'll address your question directly."
"I was on the ship checking on some EPS conduits when Marjani contacted me. As you may recall, we started dating after Holly and I officially ended our relationship. We were intimate. However, after a day or two she started getting scared and wanted to end things. I was able to convince her that we were at the beginning and we should give things a shot because she was scared of having a relationship. She agreed and things were happy. Then, we got here to Earth and she contacted me to meet her down in New Orleans. She told me she was at a family event, so I got all dressed up. I thought I was going to be meeting her parents or extended family or both. Instead, she told me that she wanted to end things."
Connor took a breath before continuing. "Well, then I told her that we already went through this before and that she was scared, she said that we did not have enough in common and that she wanted things to flow naturally and I then asked her wasn't it natural that you came on to me when I told you I was dating someone else and then were still kissing me after that. Well, then she something about making a mess of things and I then said, what was it...?"
He thought for a moment, "I told her 'Making a mess does seem to be your strength. Here I thought I was coming down to meet your family, that we were becoming more and now you're quitting. You could have done this in countless other ways and times, but you obviously chose some family event. Rather than talk to me about issues, you make a unilateral decision. Perhaps that is why your name is Voodoo. You enchant and then say it was all fake. Go on, then. Run away. That's what you do best. Relationships scare you.'"
Connor paused and continued, "She then asked me what I would have done and then I said, 'You want to know what I would have done? I would have been honest from moment one. If all you wanted was a snog and a shag, then fine. That's not what you said. If I had any moment that I felt uncertain or this needed to stop, I would have talked about it. I most certainly would not have brought it up for the first time at a family affair and made it sound like I was introducing my significant other to their family. You could have even come onto the ship, knowing Pioneer was in dock, but you chose none of those things, Marjani. At the end of the day, none of that really matters, does it? You just want to run away. So fine, run away. Hopefully you will mature at some point. Maybe the universe will show you what we could have been and at that point, maybe you will get lucky and I'll be over this and available. If not, well, your voodoo, no, your fear will have you gob smacked at what transpired thereafter."
Comfortingly, he pet Sophia again. "So, um, was I, well, out of line?"
"That's a lot to unpack," Zhara began. "First, a few questions. How often did you and Marjani see each other? How long did the relationship last?"
"Well, um, we saw each other whenever we were in the same place, which was not terribly often. We talked through subspace relays from time to time. Well, as to the relationship, it lasted from when we first talked about Holly until a few moments ago."
"And how long has that been?" It didn't sound like either of them went out of their way to spend time with the other, which wasn't a good beginning.
"How long has what been?" Connor asked perplexed. "I told you the length of the relationship."
"Weeks? Months?" Zhara countered. "It sounds like you didn't see each other during that time." She raised a hand. "I'm only trying to set a baseline of what we're looking at to help me understand the relationship."
"A few months," Connor answered. "We did not see each other much. She had her own private missions and we coordinated shore leaves as much as possible."
That gave Zhara a better picture of the relationship. "Thank you. So, out of the blue, she invited you to meet her on Earth? She said nothing over the past few weeks to indicate she was no longer interested in a relationship?"
"Not a thing," Connor confirmed. "Our last conversation that we had, everything seemed in order."
Zhara nodded slowly. "I believe you had every right to think she wanted you to join her and meet her family. She gave you no indication that it would be otherwise. I don't think she even realized the implication of her invitation."
"Why do you say that?" Connor asked curiously, temporarily belaying his worries about whether or not he was out of line. After all, the more he understood, then the more he could logically make sense of everything.
"I don't know her well, but from what I've seen, she's not the type to be deliberately cruel. So, I ascribe her actions to thoughtlessness. She was on the planet with her family and wanted to tell you she was breaking off the relationship--or telling you that you are just friends. While I think it would have been better for her to beam up to the ship and talk to you, I can only guess at what she may have been thinking."
"I think you're likely right about that," Connor replied mournfully. "But what do you think of the rest? I mean, did I step out of queue?"
"Without talking to her, I can't say. But it is more likely that she just didn't think you were the right person for her. That happens far more often than a relationship works out. What I recommend is that you remember the good things about the time you were together and move on."
"But the things I said.... Were they out of queue?" he asked, his eyes growing larger. "I was, well, quite put out."
"Were they out of order?" Zhara asked. "Not necessarily. We often speak out of turn when we're caught off guard or upset. But you are the one to determine if you were inappropriate. From what you've told me, I don't think you were. I don't think she intended to hurt you, either. I wonder if she even realized the inappropriateness of how she told you."
Connor shrugged and sighed. "Well, it is good to know that I was not inappropriate." He shrugged. "Right. Well, I guess I should go work or something."
"Or something." Zhara smiled as she stood. "Perhaps you should do something you enjoy today. Something just for fun. And be assured that relationships fall apart for many reasons. Often it's no one's fault."
"I'm not certain about that, Zhara, but, yeah, I think I'll sort something out to do."
"Good luck. Feel free to come back if you need to talk again." She smiled warmly at Connor and hoped that he would feel better about things after talking them out.
Sophia stood and rubbed against Connor in a friendly goodbye.
"I'm sorry, Sophia," Connor told the dog as he was getting ready to leave. "Did I ignore you?" He stroked her several times with his hand. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe I'll bring you a treat next time I see you to make up for it, OK?"
Sophia's tail wagged. Then she moved aside to let Connor leave.
Connor turned for a moment and took a moment to thank Zhara again. "Thank you for easing my concern." He then exited Zhara's office and considered what he would do now.
A Joint Post By
Ensign Connor Turner
Computer Systems Specialist, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Junior Grade Zhara Rynn
Counselor, USS Pioneer
Sophia
Therapy Dog, USS Pioneer
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